Every day, as I look at her……I cannot but feel disgusted….
Disgusted, at how much I’ve allowed that beautiful, vibrant face to recede into such a pale mask of shock and sadness….
Disgusted at how those lively, loving eyes, which used to dream the world for us, now find solace only in quiet contemplation of the misfortune that has struck us….
How that healthy body has degraded to such an extent, that it is only the sheer force of her willpower which manages to keep it standing….amazed at how such crippling burdens are borne by such ease by a common mortal....
Disgusted, at how her ever-joyous mind is now suffering endlessly , as our worry gnaws away at the corners of her silent and calm composure, making her irritable…..
And worst, disgusted, because I allow this to go on unchecked…..allow her to push herself to the very limit of sanity …
But what can I do?
She will not let me……
All she has to say regarding this is, “ You need to keep your future secure…do not meddle in this…..
Whatever happens…I want you to concentrate on what you are doing…..and don’t get distracted for my sake..”
And I, the sick, mindless idiot that I am, actually obey her…… it also helps that I happen to be a wimp, always craving to take the easy way out…..the path which does not pose any risks to me or my future……
And her??
No….for her, the family is the only reason of existence…..better be martyred for the sake of us than utter anything that could impact our reputation or future….
It would have been so much easier to walk away from all this…..especially when nothing here is her fault……but she just keeps on tolerating this torture, for my sake…..
And she has no need of caring for an elderly lady and a disabled sister…not when their own son metes out such a diabolical treatment to her….but nonetheless, she looks after them as if they were her own kin…..
I hate her…..hate her for being so self-sacrificing…..
Hate her for caring so much about us…so much, that her happiness and luxuries are always the least of her priorities….
Hate her, for giving me so much…so much that I can never dream of repaying her debt…..not that she would ever accept any payment…..
There was a time….in the past, when I rued the fact that I hadn’t found someone to fall in love with….perhaps the reason is, that I try to find the same qualities in them, which I see in this above-mentioned, exceptional lady …..and which, I am almost convinced now, is not possible to find anywhere….
And I certainly will not complain about that….not now....
I know I act really stupid and unruly sometimes, I lose my temper over trivial matters, I detest your authority and try to act indifferent to your plight…. even though I am completely aware of what you suffer, just for my sake...
And I sincerely hope that you will overlook these blunders, as you always have….
I really love you, mom…..
5 comments:
really good job man..!
mother is always the same..sacrifices everything for the sake of her child..!
the poem NIGHT OF SCORPION is about indian mother too!
anyways good job..!
"And she has no need of caring for an elderly lady and a disabled sister"
i din understand this..
good job bro :))
@dj...
well..this isn't just any generalcase buddy...
please read my maiden post...nd try to come up with the link between these two posts......its not too difficult....
Well penned and aptly described...every home has a similar tale to tell...martyrs everywhere! how can we make their demise peaceful is the only way out of this doldrum...its a given that they will not let us do their work...so how do we make them happier even in their martyrdom is the golden question...think about it!
I read the 1st post again to draw the connection n I think I got it. Although I'm not spelling it out.
But.. Nice job (I really want to say how I feel after this.. with a lump in my throat.. But no words)
vey touchy....it gave me goosebumps!
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